Lesson 3: Communication Across Cultures
Navigating miscommunication between cultures
Welcome to Lesson Three of Cultural Intelligence 101: Communication Across Cultures. This lesson will highlight how cultural differences can influence cultures through verbal and nonverbal communication examples. By the end of this lesson, you'll be able to appreciate the role communication plays in global interactions.
What is Intercultural Communication?
Intercultural communication refers to the exchange of messages between individuals from different cultural backgrounds (Chen & Starosta, 1998).
Intercultural communication is interesting because it shows that communication isn't just about words but cultural norms, values, and non-verbal cues. And to effectively communicate across cultures, we must learn to interpret messages beyond our own cultural lens.
My Story: Miscommunication with my Japanese host mom
When I lived with a Japanese family, I unknowingly made my host mom uncomfortable by inviting a friend for dinner. Although we had a wonderful meal together, my host mom pulled me aside after my friend left and told me she felt embarrassed.
I was confused! I had asked for permission, and she had agreed—so what went wrong?
I wanted to understand and avoid similar misunderstandings, so I asked if we could talk. That conversation became my first real lesson in recognizing the differences in communication between my Japanese family and me and that communication isn't just about what is said—it's also about what isn't.
Let's break down what happened.
The Complexity of High and Low Context Communication
High- and low-context measures how directly a message is expressed.
Low-context communication (common in the U.S.) is more direct. If someone says "yes," it typically means yes, and if they say "no," it means no.
High-context communication (common in Japan) relies on nonverbal cues, suggested meanings, and preserving social harmony. Instead of directly saying "no," people often use indirect language and gestures to convey hesitation.
In my case, while I assumed my host mom's "yes" was literal, in reality, she might have conveyed discomfort in a way I didn't pick up on.
Words are only part of the message—non-verbal communication, such as facial expressions, gestures, and even silence, can change the meaning entirely. Had I been more aware of these signals, I might have realized my host mom was being polite.
Navigating Intercultural Communication
So, what can we learn from this? Misunderstandings happen, but we can minimize them by being more culturally aware. Here are a few takeaways:
Learn about cultural communication styles. Each culture has its own approach when it comes to being direct or indirect, so learning about this can help clear up any misunderstandings.
Pay attention to non-verbal cues. Sometimes, what's left unsaid can carry more weight than the words we hear.
Ask clarifying questions. Instead of asking, "Can I bring a friend?" try phrasing it differently: "Would it be okay if I invited a friend, or would that be inconvenient?" This gives space for someone to express any hesitation more comfortably.
Cultural misunderstandings are normal and a part of the experience. The best way to handle misunderstandings is with curiosity, humility, and an eagerness to learn. That moment with my host mom was just one of many cultural lessons I encountered while living abroad, but one that shaped my understanding of how communication goes beyond words.
Have You Ever Experienced a Cultural Misunderstanding?
I'd love to hear your experiences! Share your story in the comments.
See you next week for Lesson 4: Friendships Across Cultures.
Reference: Chen, G. M., & Starosta, W. J. (1998). Foundations of intercultural communication: Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.